moving into your own spotlight
Little Khadijah stood patiently in the back of the classroom looking at the table covered in seashells. She looked at each one in turn, admiring their individual fragility and softness. She wondered at the muted colors and the unusual shapes. Each looked different and yet somehow they were all the same. She looked on, mustering as much interest as possible, as she patiently waited for her teacher to return to the room.
Existence presents us with a smorgasbord of opportunity. It’s like a food court that goes on for miles and miles, perhaps even eternity. We sweet spiritual beings come like little majesties to this Earth with the Universe providing all we need for our little Earth adventure. We great abundant beings walk along the rows and aisles of this limitless food court, so full of plenty, so worthy that we never need to worry about how to pay for what we want or need or whether it is too expensive. It is all there for the taking. All we need to do is ask.
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As a child my mother would take me to the church soup kitchen to volunteer. She and I would cook and make care packages for all who came seeking hot meals and non-perishables for themselves and their families. I remember my first time helping out. The doors opened and slowly people began walking in, some with shopping carts full of their most prized possessions and others alone. Some greeted each other like old friends. I remember one woman who came in greeting others with a smile. She wore a white t-shirt and through it you could see her large breasts moving back and forth, free of the usual constraint.
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The meeting room was full, and on this particular summer day in Munich, Germany, my colleagues hesitated to wander back to their desks only to sit out the afternoon and wait slowly for finishing time to come. You could see them grasping for relevant work topics, when they finally gave up and a lively conversation about beer ensued. I looked at the door, wondering if I could make a run for it. I looked sideways at my boss, who nestled more snugly into her chair, and frowned. I was relatively new at the company and didn’t want to seem anti-social, so I took my cue from her and hung around with a forced smile. Small talk can be so taxing. As an introvert with only rare (and sporadic) extrovert tendencies, I struggled to get into the mood to talk about nothing.
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“When I grow up and become a boy,” Little Khadijah would say, “then I’m gonna…” and usually this passionate declaration would be followed by the description of some kind of fantastic adventure.
As a child I would make completely outrageous statements that seemed quite the norm to me. Often these claims were met with humor and teasing but I could not be deterred.
“One day they will see.” I thought to myself.
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Song: “Blippy Trance” by Kevin MacLeod from freepd.com, CC0 license
„Mom, can you buy me a tie and a white button-down shirt?” It was 1993, and Little Khadijah was in the 4th grade.
“Sure. I will pick them up tomorrow.” She replied.
“That’s it?” I thought. “No questions?” That was easier than I had expected.
One evening I sat on the phone with my grandad, a very tall, brown man with an afro of gray hair. He spent many years working in the factories for Ford Motor Company and rented out properties he had bought, building his wealth. On the weekends he mowed their well-kept lawn, fixed the plumbing, worked on his car and visited his grandchildren. My grandad took pride in being a “self-made man’s man”. Masculinity was everything to him. We are talking about a man who refused to sleep on flowered bedsheets.
Super achievement is a new trend swelling up around us. Currently, motivational videos, podcasts and other media are calling us to get started manifesting our dreams into reality. These new trends are quite effective and deliver great messages, encouraging us to get in touch with our inner potential. While it is good to become more productive, still it is wiser to make sure that when we begin to build and to demand more of ourselves that our constructions have solid foundations.
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My Wake Up Call
The gift of expression has always been important to me. As a child I remember sitting in the window of my mother’s bedroom looking out at our green space. There was a tree in particular I liked very much. In that window, overlooking my tree, I would write poems few desired to read. Upon finishing I would make my way throughout the house, stopping in each occupied room to recite my newest creation proudly. All of the eye rolls, the pity and the giggles passed by me like whispers on wind. Now looking back I can see and hear the pity and annoyance clearly, but in my 8-year old heart space, I could only sense the delight that one feels when sharing a piece of their soul.
Values are beliefs signifying what is important to us. Our values are windows into the heart of who we are. When we define our values, we give ourselves the opportunity to explore our inmost being and to understand what motivates our actions and decisions. We can use them not only to understand ourselves better but also to understand others and even to anticipate their decisions. One might go as far as to say that your values are a description of your essence.